fter talking about such big topics like revamping Grizzly Adams and redefining the vocations it is time to calm down a bit and take a deep breath. Besides all those major, and of course, very important matters Tibia has a lot more to talk about.

Almost a year ago we have shared some thoughts about different and random features and details in Tibia. Of course, there are almost countless subjects you can think and talk about. Actually, you can get lost in philosophical discussions, for example, why it does not rain in Tibia or why the doorknobs of quest doors blink. Finding the true or right answers on such mystical questions is very unlikely. But aren't riddles something that makes life more interesting, or at least less boring?

Once again, we would like to invite you to join us as we reflect on some special questions in this month's featured article. As a matter of fact, we cannot prove that any of our ideas are more right than anybody else's.

Return to Sender?

Have you ever thought about how a parcel becomes a stamped parcel, and how it works to get the parcels instantly from a hunting dungeon into your depot? Last time, we already shared our idea about how the dustbin system might work. Just a thought, but maybe the parcel system works similar? Perhaps there is a tube mail system all over the Tibian lands... working with pressure, for example.

In Tibia everything is possible. Have you ever been in Kevin's basement in the post office headquarter? No? Well, probably nobody has been there yet and that makes it even more interesting to speculate about what you could find down there. Maybe Kevin has discovered a special species there with incredible speed and strength, and is now culturing them in his well hidden cellar...
Something called post bugs or parcel millipedes. Kevin and Wally may look very nice and charming, but who knows? the Evil has many faces. Perhaps they force those poor little creatures to walk in those hidden and dark pipes to carry all mail stuff from one end of Tibia to its destination as fast as possible. Besides the fact that they have to be the fastest and smallest creatures in Tibia, it is also fascinating that they are obviously able to read. Or how would they know the receiver's address? Also, it seems that they are kind of unerring, or did it ever happen to you that your mail was not delivered? Mind you, these crawly fellows cannot be held responsible for any typos and wrong addresses.

So next time you are visiting Kevin and Wally try to pay attention. Maybe you can see one of those creatures or at least you can hear some weird sounds from below.

Money for Nothing?

What might Rashid and the djinns be doing with the tons of items they are buying all day and night long? Rashid, for example, has been travelling around the world for years so he has a very big client base for sure. Ergo, he has already collected an unbelievable amount of all different kinds of weapons, armour, and so on. And the fact that he just buys stuff and does not sell anything makes this even more interesting. What happens with all the items? If you ask him, he says that he has to go to Carlin once in a while since the queen wishes to see his exclusive wares regularly. But it is quite doubtful that he is selling all the stuff to Queen Eloise in Carlin, isn't it?

So, just a thought, but couldn't it be that he has a bigger plan in his mind? Rashid is obviously one of the nomads. We all know that nomads are not such evil beings as many people want to believe. However, you have probably read about those embittered nomads between Ankrahmun and Darashia who would gladly give their right hand just to stack their knives between your ribs. Maybe Rashid is one of them and is collecting all those weapons and armour to equip his nomad friends with the aim to found an army. Then suddenly, one fateful day, he will try to conquer the Tibian lands, starting with Darashia and Ankrahmun... what a dark outlook.

And what about those blue and green djinns? As you can read in the chronicles of the djinn wars, their war has been going on for aeons. Even if they avoid to face each other in an open battle, there are skirmishes going on for sure. All those small and hidden fights use up equipment so that they are frequently in need of new armour, weapons and resources. Or maybe one day, the blue and the green faction will end this war in a giant final battle, and for that day both sides want to be well prepared. Who knows!

No Woman No Cry?

Have you ever visited the Outlaw Camp and talked to the grumpy salesman H.L.? Did you notice that he does not like to talk to women? Ask any woman if she ever tried to trade with H.L. The answer will probably not be very nice. Maybe you will get something like: "Trading with this rude old guy? No, thanks." Well, such a female reaction is not really a surprise at all. Look what happens if a woman wants to trade with H.L.:
Woman: "Hi."
H.L.: "Mh. Usually... I don't trade with women. Say what you want and make it quick."

So the question is how did it happen that H.L. became so cold and gruff towards women? Why would a vendor refuse to trade with women? Isn't a customer a customer, and isn't it all about the money? There has to be a reason for H.L.'s rude behaviour.

Have you ever accompanied a woman on her shopping tour? You know what we are talking about, right? Just imagine a sales talk between H.L. and a woman:
Woman: "Hello, I would like to sell this sword. How much will I get for it?"
H.L.: "Hello, which sword? The long sword or that short sword? I give you 8 gold coins for the long and 3 gold coins for the short one."
Woman: "What's the difference? Isn't a sword a sword?"
H.L.: "... No, of course not. A sword is not a sword... So, which one do you want to sell?"
Woman: "Hm, I guess then it will be the long sword. It is so unwieldy."
H.L.: "Okay. Hand it over to me and here is your money."
Woman: "Well, maybe the long one looks nicer than the short one? What do you think?"
H.L.: "Hrmpf, I do not care. I buy both. It is up to you."
Woman: "Pah! Men... You are not very helpful."
H.L.: "Make your choice, I got other things to do!"
Woman: "Okay okay... calm down... Well, the long sword is much more shiny and would fit into my living room. But the short one is not that bad either and I could use it to cut bread? Hard decision that is, isn't it?"
H.L.: "Not really..."
Woman: "Okay, I keep both."
H.L.: "... ? ..."
Woman: "Ummm, what about helmets?"
H.L.: " Well, of course I buy helmets as well..."
Woman:"Great. So, this brass helmet or that cute demon helmet?"
H.L.: "Excuse me... this helmet is not CUTE!!!"
Woman: "Okay, okay. No need to get loud. Well, aaaanyway, both would look very charming on my tiled stove."
H.L.: "..."
Woman: "By the way... When was the last time you have cleaned your shop?"
H.L.: "... Sorry?"
Woman: "Seriously, I know men are not the cleanest, but all this dust and spider webs... uggh"
H.L.: "What is going on here... ?"
Woman: "Really. Maybe you should clean it at least once a week and..."
H.L.: "GET OUT OF HERE!!!! NOW!!"

Well, just a theory, but if you are a man of short words and prefer action, such an experience can freak you out. Sooner or later it may turn you into an opposite women magnet that is blatantly pushing women away like H.L. does.

But maybe there is another reason why H.L. refuses to treat women like his male customers. If you ask his neighbour Rottin Wood about this vendor, he will tell you that he still wears his old wedding ring with the letters H and L engraved. That is, by the way, the reason why they call him just H.L. Ergo, H.L. is or was married. We all know nobody is safe from drama. Maybe his wife got killed by accident, due to a robbery, for example. That might be the reason why he lives secluded in the Outlaw Camp. Let's assume the love between H.L. and his wife was the biggest love ever. After her death, the soul of his wife refused to leave this world and stayed as a ghost. Of course, she still loves her living husband but you know how jealous women can be. Just imagine that every time H.L. gets a female customer in his shop his ghostly wife appears and makes H.L.'s life a living hell because he dares to speak with other women. Poor H.L.! Who wouldn't refuse to talk to women if you got a nasty, jealous ghost on your back?

Muted Ninja Turtles?

Turtles are slow, aren't they? Yes, they are probably one of the slowest creatures of the world. Have you already heard about that case which kept the Tibian Bureau of Investigation (TBI) busy for weeks? No? Okay, here we go: One or two years ago, a turtle stumbled into the Thaian TBI office, totally stressed and troubled. The TBI officers asked what had happened. The turtle answered: "I just got robbed by two snails!" The officers wanted to start with the inquiry of what exactly happened and about what the snails exactly looked like but the turtle just answered: "I am sorry, but unfortunately it happened too fast. So, I cannot give you detailed information about the robbers or the circumstances of that crime!... " So, by this example you can see how slow turtles are.

But how do those extremely slow creatures manage to bring you from one of the Laguna Islands to another in less than a second? Weird, isn't it? Is it maybe magic? Well, it would be too easy to explain everything that seems to be more or less odd with super duper magic. What if some turtles are just special, and therefore, cannot be compared with other giant turtles? Maybe those turtles are some Muted Ninja Turtles. Everyone knows about ninjas and their superior and mysterious power. It is common knowledge that they are adept in the ancient arts of sidling and moving too fast to be noticed by human eye. And of course, their sensei, maybe a rat, does not want those ninja secrets to be spoiled, and therefore, he muted his students just to be sure... What a pity that they can't tell anyone if that's true!

That was it for this time. Ask yourself or your friends some unusual questions every now and then - you may get some fresh and interesting ideas, or just a good laugh. We hope you enjoyed our stories and invite you to share your theories with us!

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